Throughout the year I hear teenagers complain about living in Cody and how there’s nothing to do here. Instead of listing things that we can do for fun in this town let’s think of places worse to live than Cody.
• New Orleans, La. - Although Cody might not be all too compelling, at least it isn’t in the crosshairs of a monster hurricane year in and year out. During this time New Orleans doubles as a lake, which is not prime living condition, unless a person happens to be amphibious. Besides, the Big Easy also has a super high crime rate, making it one of the bloodiest city in America according to cbsnews.com. It’s hard to have fun when you’re deceased.
• Detroit, Mich. - The decline of the auto industry and Motown have killed Detroit. That and the gangsters.
• Bakersfield, Calif. - In the American Lung Association’s state of the air report, released in May, Bakersfield ranked No. 3 in year-round particle pollution and No. 2 in ozone pollution, according to ajc.com. The lack of quality oxygen could ruin an otherwise fun time.
• Powell, Wyo. - For obvious reasons.
• Hilmar, Calif. - Hilmar Cheese Co., the largest cheese manufacturer in the world, can be found in Hilmar. It produces more than 1.9 million pounds of cheese each day. Although an awesome claim to fame, that much cheese cannot possibly smell good.
• Port Arthur, Texas- After a joint venture between Shell and Aramco, a Saudi Arabian oil company, the oil refinery in this city will be the largest in the world. An oil refinery is not something to be desired in a city. Once again, it will smell terrible and be a tremendous eyesore (just drive through Byron for a whiff). Refineries are very ugly and not something that will add to a city.
• Intercourse, Pa., or Hooker, Ark. – Living in a city with either of these names would not be a good thing. It would be impossible to be taken seriously.
See, maybe we don’t have it so bad in Cody. It smells nice, isn’t a lake, isn’t overly violent – and isn’t Powell.
